id be glad to
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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