wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
