They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
