the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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