im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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