I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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