And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
