And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
