so explain again why im purple
no
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
