Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
