just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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