worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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