I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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