okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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