kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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