this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize