But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize