im so drunk with asians
where?
always
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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