Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
