this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
