After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
