garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
