school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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