She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
