A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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