Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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