Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
me + whiskey = a bad person
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
