Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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