You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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