Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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