can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
