Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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