You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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