gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize