I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
