And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
