did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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