Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
