you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
God, I missed his penis.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
