He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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