i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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