Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
