Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have post one night stand depression
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