I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
