Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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