Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
