I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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