Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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