Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize