This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My vagina just clenched in fear
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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