One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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