i think my tv is drunk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This baby is an asshole
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
