4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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