I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
