i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
